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I have male friends whose daughters are approaching puberty at speeds upwards of 700 miles per hour, and when you say the word "dating," my friends get a look in their eyes that makes Charles Manson look like Captain Kangaroo.

— Dave Barry Dave Barry Turns 40 (1990)

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Women

More quotes by Dave Barry

Sharks are hardy creatures, but they do not thrive on public transportation.

I'll Mature When I'm Dead (2010)

First of all, let's dispense with this absurd stereotype that the French are rude. The French are not rude. They just happen to hate you.

Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need (1991)

• Under Florida’s “stand your ground” law, it is legal to shoot anybody for any reason as long as you are standing on the ground.

Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland (2016)

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

Dave Barry Turns 50 (1998)

• More than 1,000 people move to Florida every day.

Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland (2016)

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The worker is the slave of capitalist society, the female worker is the slave of that slave.

James Connolly

There is a Lady sweet and kind,
Was never face so pleased my mind;
I did but see her passing by,
And yet I love her till I die.

Thomas Ford

To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man's injustice to woman.

Mahatma Gandhi

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Dave Barry (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.