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You must be careful about what you eat, unless you want your body making heart valves out of things like bean dip.

— Dave Barry Stay Fit & Healthy Until You're Dead (1985)

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More quotes by Dave Barry

Sharks are hardy creatures, but they do not thrive on public transportation.

I'll Mature When I'm Dead (2010)

First of all, let's dispense with this absurd stereotype that the French are rude. The French are not rude. They just happen to hate you.

Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need (1991)

• Under Florida’s “stand your ground” law, it is legal to shoot anybody for any reason as long as you are standing on the ground.

Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland (2016)

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

Dave Barry Turns 50 (1998)

• More than 1,000 people move to Florida every day.

Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland (2016)

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There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

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If you are eating well and your condition is pure and clean, life itself becomes like the dreams or visions that you have when sleeping.

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Vegetarianism is an ideal way to actualize the Torah's vision of a world in which the divine spark in all creation is respected and revered.

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Vegetarianism is a way of life that we should all move toward for economic survival, physical well-being and spiritual integrity.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Dave Barry (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.