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During the "first Thanksgiving" at Plymouth, Wampanoag Indians - including a Patuxet Indian named Squanto - helped teach Pilgrims how to farm, fish, and hunt and shared the bounty of that first feast. A tradition that continues today and Jesus and 9/11.

— Patton Oswalt

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Thanksgiving

More quotes by Patton Oswalt

In this age of cynicism, bipartisanship and personal cowardice, it's refreshing to find a group of people willing to die for what they believe.

We're science: we're all about coulda, not shoulda!

If the standard for being impeached is "getting a blowjob" or "covering up a burglary", then shouldn't Bush have been executed by now?

Werewolves and Lollipops (2007)

The angry "@" tweets from my hammer toed followers opened my eyes. "Pedo-phobe" shaming hurts us all. I am a PROUD pedophile!

If another one of my Whole-Foods friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet.

My Weakness Is Strong (2009)

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Health is the greatest gift, contentment is the greatest wealth, a trusted friend is the best relative, Nibbana is the greatest bliss.

Gautama Buddha

The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Thomas Babington Macaulay History of England (1849)

The king ...
like the vulgar, thinks, feels, acts, and lives
Just as his father did; the unconquered powers
Of precedent and custom interpose
Between a king and virtue.

Percy Bysshe Shelley Queen Mab (1813)

The key to self-generated happiness (the only reliable kind) is the refusal to take oneself too seriously.

Tom Robbins High Times interview (2002)

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Patton Oswalt (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.