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Hey man, so can you speak to dolphins and pilot whales with that forehead of yours?

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More quotes by Tucker Max

Nose full of fart, mouth full of cock, she never even paused.

I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.

You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.

9:00: I don't know what I want. I just point at the Dollar Menu and say, 'Give me all of that.'

Redheadedcalin doll: Doll comes with an innocent smile. Pull her string and doesn't speak, she just opens her legs.

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Tucker Max (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.