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Tucker Max Quotes
born 1975 United States
Tucker Tibor Max (born September 27, 1975 in Atlanta, Georgia) is an American author and public speaker. He chronicles his drinking and sexual encounters in the form of short stories on his website TuckerMax.com, which has received millions of visitors since Max launched it as the result of a bet in 2000.
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Random Tucker Max quote
12 quotes
Nose full of fart, mouth full of cock, she never even paused.
Hey man, so can you speak to dolphins and pilot whales with that forehead of yours?
I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.
You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.
9:00: I don't know what I want. I just point at the Dollar Menu and say, 'Give me all of that.'
Redheadedcalin doll: Doll comes with an innocent smile. Pull her string and doesn't speak, she just opens her legs.
We can't get kicked out of McDonald's! This is like the DMZ of drunk eating.
I gave her an unmistakable "I want to fuck you" look, she shot me back a quick "My spine hurts" face, and I was smitten.
Great Holy Jesus--it looks like he fell into Kentucky Fried Movie.
What are you looking for, McSeaBass? Its been the same menu for 40 years. Its all McShit. Just fucking order!
EEK EEK EEK!! That's dolphin for 'I'm sorry.' But you already knew that..
The Academy should give Caitlin a fucking Oscar. She delivered her scripted lines perfectly, even improvising beautifully with the "Uncle Tucker" bit. And I should get an award for choreography or something.