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Ladies, I guarantee you if you take a shower with your boyfriend by the time you step out of that shower your breasts will be sparkling clean.

— Sarah Silverman

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More quotes by Sarah Silverman

I was driving and got tired and thought this would be a good place to stop.

I'm so glad Courtney Love is here; I left my crack in my other purse.

People are always introducing me as "Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedian." I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.

If my boyfriend and I ever have a kid, we'll just be honest with it. We'll say that mommy is one of God's chosen people, and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!

All Sarah Silverman quotes →

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Sarah Silverman (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.