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If my boyfriend and I ever have a kid, we'll just be honest with it. We'll say that mommy is one of God's chosen people, and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!

— Sarah Silverman

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More quotes by Sarah Silverman

I was driving and got tired and thought this would be a good place to stop.

I'm so glad Courtney Love is here; I left my crack in my other purse.

People are always introducing me as "Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedian." I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.

Hey, is it considered molestation if the child makes the first move? I'm gonna need a quick answer on this.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Sarah Silverman (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.