More by Dylan Moran
"Well, you know what they say about John, anyway?"
Monster (2004)
What's going on? What do we do now? "Don't fuck anybody or you die! Never mind, here comes MC Hammer."
Monster (2004)
Days are stupid length. They are just long enough to get regret and then you have to go to bed.
Yeah, Yeah (2011)
It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.
What It Is (2009)
You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.
Like, Totally (2006)
Adulthood feels like walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they bore you.
What It Is (2009)
- I know what you're thinking!
What It Is (2009)
You laugh at the North, you think they’re all funny little short people who live in a big pie. Trying to sort out their relationship with the definite article. Throwing darts at their dinner.
Yeah, Yeah (2011)
All Dylan Moran quotes →