[When asked if he could think of a cure for a dog who eats soil]

I'll sleep with her. I’m a special kind of vet - people bring the animals in, and I sleep with them. Do you have any sick animals that need some time with a vet? [...] What I was saying was that I was going to start a vet practice. People would bring me their sick animals and I’d sleep with them. Turtles. Parakeets. I’d give parakeets blow-jobs. I’d go around the zoo, like James Herriot... saying ‘Giraffes? Really? Bring them to me.’