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"I do not believe in God," I told him. "For if there is a God, then tell me, Uncle, why is there poverty and baldness? Why do some men go through life immune to a thousand mortal enemies of the race, while others get a migraine that lasts for weeks? Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?"

— Woody Allen Getting Even (1971)

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More quotes by Woody Allen

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Stardust Memories (1980)

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

Without Feathers (1975)

Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!

The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you.

All Woody Allen quotes →

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Woody Allen (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.