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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.

— Billy Connolly

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Advice

More quotes by Billy Connolly

Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.

Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.

I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing, so get yourself a sexy raincoat and live a little.

Those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing, so get yourself a sexy raincoat.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

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A man must serve his time to every trade
Save censure — critics are ready-made.

Lord Byron English Bards and Scotch Reviewers (1809)

The physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

Frank Lloyd Wright

Parodies and caricatures are the most penetrating of criticisms.

Aldous Huxley Point Counter Point (1928)

Let no man value at a little price
A virtuous woman's counsel; her wing'd spirit
Is feather'd oftentimes with heavenly words.

George Chapman The Gentleman Usher (1606)

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Billy Connolly (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.