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The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

— Billy Connolly

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More quotes by Billy Connolly

Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.

Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.

I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing, so get yourself a sexy raincoat and live a little.

Those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing, so get yourself a sexy raincoat.

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Billy Connolly (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.