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If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. -Lemony Snicket

— Daniel Handler The Wide Window (2000)

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More quotes by Daniel Handler

Miracles are like meatballs because nobody knows what they are made of, where they came from, or how often they should appear.

The Carnivorous Carnival (2002)

As the aphorism says, If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (2002)

My stepfather said that the amount of treachery in this world is enormous and that the best we could do was one small noble thing.

The Grim Grotto (2004)

For Beatrice— No one could extinguish my love, or your house.

The Penultimate Peril (2005)

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.

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All breathing, existing, living, sentient creatures should not be slain, nor treated with violence, nor abused, nor tormented, nor driven away.

Mahavira

A dog cannot relate his autobiography; however eloquently he may bark, he cannot tell you that his parents were honest but poor.

Bertrand Russell Human Knowledge: Its Scope and Limits (1948)

Histories are more full of Examples of the Fidelity of dogs than of Friends.

Alexander Pope

True human goodness, in all its purity and freedom, can come to the fore only when its recipient has no power.

Milan Kundera The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1984)

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Daniel Handler (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.