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If my job was less pleasant than jury duty, I'd want to convict innocent people just to see their eyes bulge when they hear the verdict.

— Scott Adams Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel (2002)

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More quotes by Scott Adams

An omnipotent being has no need to rank things.

God's Debris (2001)

Hopelessness isn't the same as happiness, but it's enough to make the employees stop complaining, and that's a good start.

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook (1996)

What are the odds that you live in exactly the window of human existence when all of the major optical illusions have been discovered?

The Dilbert Future (1997)

Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If an economist uses a complicated model to predict just about anything, you can ignore it.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Scott Adams (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.