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You ever go eat breakfast at Denny's, and then go to the toilet and sit in there so long you gotta order lunch from the stool? You ever do that? Now I know why they call it the Grand Slam.

— Larry the Cable Guy Morning Constitutions (2007)

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More quotes by Larry the Cable Guy

OJ isn't going to jail — he just changed his name to BJ.

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Do you get so drunk you hump a cupholder?

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You can always tell when gas is expensive. You always see street gangs doing walk-bys.

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If you're in a Gay Mafia and you get whacked, is that good or bad? [high-pitched voice] Say hello to my little friend.

Morning Constitutions (2007)

Them [gas] prices are higher than a bus load of Mexicans at the Los Lobos concert.

Morning Constitutions (2007)

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Larry the Cable Guy (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.