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They called me mad... But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!

— Woody Allen Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask) (1972)

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More quotes by Woody Allen

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Stardust Memories (1980)

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

Without Feathers (1975)

Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!

The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you.

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Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.

Albert Einstein

Every Communist must grasp the truth: Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.

Mao Zedong

Three-fourths of the Italian economy, industrial and agricultural, is in the hands of the state.

Benito Mussolini

Fear and destructiveness are the major emotional sources of fascism, eros belongs mainly to democracy.

Theodor Adorno The Authoritarian Personality (1950)

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Woody Allen (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.