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See, when the Government spends money, it creates jobs; whereas when the money is left in the hands of Taxpayers, God only knows what they do with it. Bake it into pies, probably. Anything to avoid creating jobs.

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Finance

More quotes by Dave Barry

Sharks are hardy creatures, but they do not thrive on public transportation.

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First of all, let's dispense with this absurd stereotype that the French are rude. The French are not rude. They just happen to hate you.

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People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

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We must do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living.

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Economics is on the side of humanity now.

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Since the state must necessarily provide subsistence for the criminal poor while undergoing punishment, not to do the same for the poor who have not offended is to give a premium on crime.

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Economy, in the estimation of common minds, often means the absence of all taste and comfort.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Dave Barry (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.