Suddenly, I noticed something: my wallet and keys are exactly where I left them. So either the spirits decided not to move them or—we cannot rule this out – they moved them and then moved them back.

— Dave Barry Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland (2016)

More quotes by Dave Barry

I'll Mature When I'm Dead (2010)

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Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland (2016)

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Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland (2016)

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