Misattributed quotes

Under this roof are the heads of the family of Rothschild a name famous in every capital of Europe and every division of the globe. If you like, we shall divide the United States into two parts, one for you, James, and one for you, Lionel. Napoleon will do exactly and all that I shall advise him to do; and to Bismark will be suggested such an intoxicating programme as to make him our abject slave.

Reported as a misattribution in Bernard Glassman, Benjamin Disraeli: The Fabricated Jew in Myth and Memory (2003), p. 185. Read the full notes

There's a plot in this country to enslave every man, woman, and child. Before I leave this high and noble office, I intend to expose this plot. - President John F. Kennedy 7 days before his assassination

a fake quote debunked on several websites, including metabunk.org. This has been fact-checked by Snopes as well. Read the full notes

Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.

This is actually a quote from a 2004 book by Aileen Miga and Janice Hughes called Inspired Wealth: Financial Leadership for the 21st Century, page 44. The misattribution has been attested since at least 2006. Read the full notes

A wonderful bird is a pelican,
His bill will hold more than his belican.
He can take in his beak
Food enough for a week;
But I'm damned if I see how the helican.

"The Pelican" (1910) by Dixon Lanier Merritt is another poem often misattributed to Nash. Read the full notes

Southern trees bear a strange fruit
Blood on the leaf and blood at the root
Black bodies swingin’ in the southern breeze
Strange fruit hangin’ in the poplar trees.

"Strange Fruit" (1939). The anti-lynching song associated with Holiday was written by Abel Meeropol (under the pseudonym Lewis Allen). Read the full notes

A man should live with his superiors as he does with his fire: not too near, lest he burn; nor too far off, lest he freeze.

Diogenes of Sinope, as quoted in Pearls of Thought (1882), edited by Maturin Murray Ballou, p. 22 Read the full notes

The gods too are fond of a joke.

This is actually a quotation of Socrates, as depicted in Cratylus by Plato Read the full notes

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help small men by tearing down big men. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatreds. You cannot establish security on borrowed money. You cannot build character and courage by taking away a man's initiative and independence. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

Actually a statement by William J. H. Boetcker known as "The Ten Cannots" (1916), this has often been misattributed to Lincoln since 1942 when a leaflet containing quotes by both men was published. Read the full notes

"Do not blame Caesar, blame the people of Rome who have so enthusiastically acclaimed and adored him and rejoiced in their loss of freedom and danced in his path and gave him triumphal processions. Blame the people who hail him when he speaks in the Forum of the 'new, wonderful good society' which shall now be Rome, interpreted to mean 'more money, more ease, more security, more living fatly at the expense of the industrious.'"

This is also from the 1965 essay by Justice Millard Caldwell. It is not clear if this is based in any specific dialogue. Read the full notes

The more you are motivated by love, the more fearless and free your actions will be.

This has been attributed to Mansfield on the internet, but no published source by her or any other author has been located. Read the full notes

Hairy in front, opportunity is bald behind.

Disticha, Bk. ii, No. 26. The Distichs of Cato were long attributed to Cato the Elder but probably are the work of a much later author called Dionysius Cato from the 3rd or 4th century A.D. Read the full notes

Life is not fair. Get used to it... Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Though widely attributed to Gates on the internet, this list of life suggestions is actually based on one from Charles J. Sykes. More information at Snopes.com Read the full notes

When you have not what you love, you must fain love what you have.

L’Inconnu (ed. 1703), Nouveau Prologue (spoken by Crispin). Edouard Fournier, L'Esprit des Autres, 6th ed. (1881), pp. 192–3, observes that Bussy de Rabutin had quoted the lines nearly forty years before in writing to Mme. de Sévigné (23… Read the full notes

Jupiter laughs at the false oaths of lovers.

Cf. Ovid, Ars Amatoria, I, 633, and Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, II, ii, 92–3 Read the full notes

BUSH IS NOT GREAT (HE'S MARVELLOUS!)

Headline in the 8 June 2007 edition of British satirical magazine Private Eye, accompanying a Hitchens parody piece. Read the full notes

The words of this famous epigram on the Greek monument at the site of the Battle of Thermopylae, written by Simonides of Ceos, have sometimes been presented as if they were literally words of Leonidas; some translations follow

As translated by George Rawlinson | Go tell the Spartans, thou who passest by, That here, obedient to their laws, we lie. | As translated by William Lisle Bowles | Tell the Spartans, stranger passing by, that here obedient to their laws we… Read the full notes

Entities should not be multiplied beyond necessity.

Though widely cited as Occam's razor, this popular wording is not found in his extant works. Read the full notes

Anger begins with folly, and ends with repentance.

Pythagoras, as quoted in Treasury of Thought : Forming an Encyclopædia of Quotations from Ancient and Modern Authors (1894) by Maturin Murray Ballou Read the full notes

He who works with his hands is a laborer. He who works with his hands and his head is a craftsman. He who works with his hands and his head and his heart is an artist.

This quote was actually composed by Louis Nizer, and published in his book, Between You and Me (1948). Read the full notes

Throughout the 200+ pages of this book Sanger called for the elimination of "human weeds," for the cessation of charity, for the segregation of "morons, misfits, and maladjusted," and for the sterilization of "genetically inferior races."

None of those quoted phrases actually appear in the book. Read the full notes