Quotes from Literary Lapses — Stephen Leacock
1869–1944 Canada
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5 quotes
I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.
Literary Lapses (1910)
It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.
Literary Lapses (1910)
The rushing of his spirit from its prison-house was as rapid as a hunted cat passing over a garden fence.
Literary Lapses (1910)
You know, many a man realizes late in life that if when he was a boy he had known what he knows now, instead of being what he is he might be what he won't; but how few boys stop to think that if they knew what they don't know instead of being what they will be, they wouldn't be?
Literary Lapses (1910)
A barber is by nature and inclination a sport. He can tell you at what exact hour the ball game is to begin, can foretell its issue without losing a stroke of the razor, and can explain the points of inferiority of all the players, as compared with the better men that he has personally seen elsewhere, with the nicety of a professional.
Literary Lapses (1910)