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Stephen Colbert Quotes
born 1964 United States
Stephen Tyrone Colbert (born 13 May 1964) is an American satirist, comedian, writer, actor, and television host most famous for his work on The Daily Show, The Colbert Report from 2005 to 2014 where he portrays a parody of conservative media pundits, and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert from 2015 to 2026. He graduated from Northwestern University in 1986, and appeared in the films Nobody Knows Anything! (2003), Snow Days (1999), and Shock Asylum (1997).
United States Actors Comedians Critics Novelists Also known as: Stephen colbert, Steve Colbert
Random Stephen Colbert quote
70 quotes
I didn't realize quite how liberal I was until I was asked to make passionate comedic choices as opposed to necessarily successful comedic choices.
There once was a man in Nantucket
In the media age, everybody was famous for 15 minutes. In the Wikipedia age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes. Special bonus: You can edit your own entry to make yourself seem even smarter.
I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it’s more than that. It’s an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids.
Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
Like all great theologies, Bill [O'Reilly]'s can be boiled down to one sentence: There must be a god, because I don't know how things work.
Of course, at the time, we thought we were being farcical.
As excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America — with the exception of Fox News.
White House Correspondents' Association Dinner (2006)
And then I'm weak. As much as I want to make the audience laugh, I really want to make Jon laugh.
My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned, but an idiot… So we said, "Let's give him a promotion."
After acting for so many years, do you know who you are anymore? Because actors are liars basically, you lie about who you are to an audience.
So be real. That's the best thing you can do.
I don't perceive my role as a newsman at all. I'm a comedian from stem to stern. You can cut me open and count the rings of jokes. If people learn something about the news by watching the show, that is incidental to my goal.
The message of Christ isn't that you can't kill me. The message of Christ is you can kill me and that's not death.
And reality has a well-known liberal bias.
White House Correspondents' Association Dinner (2006)
It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty.
Cynics always say no. But saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to knowledge. "Yes" is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes.
Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can’t laugh and be afraid at the same time—of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.
Would an untalented man be able to compose the following satirical witticism?: Go f-ck yourself.
Answer honestly... Disabuse me of my ignorance.
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