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Stephen Colbert Quotes
born 1964 United States
Stephen Tyrone Colbert (born 13 May 1964) is an American satirist, comedian, writer, actor, and television host most famous for his work on The Daily Show, The Colbert Report from 2005 to 2014 where he portrays a parody of conservative media pundits, and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert from 2015 to 2026. He graduated from Northwestern University in 1986, and appeared in the films Nobody Knows Anything! (2003), Snow Days (1999), and Shock Asylum (1997).
United States Actors Comedians Critics Novelists Also known as: Stephen colbert, Steve Colbert
Random Stephen Colbert quote
70 quotes
I think of him as well intentioned, poorly informed, high status idiot.
If you don't give power to the words that people throw at you to hurt you, they don't hurt you anymore — and you actually have power over those people.
I have tender feelings for Nixon, because everybody has warm feelings about their childhood.
Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it.
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.
Language has always been important in politics, but language is incredibly important to the present political struggle.
But you have one thing that may save you, and that is your youth. This is your great strength. It is also why I hate and fear you.
We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don't have to defend anything.
If I want to say he didn't that's my right, and now, thanks to Wikipedia — it's also a fact.
While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.
Yes, we all know the famous saying: where there’s smoke, there’s success.
Accountability is meaningless unless it's for everybody, whether it's the leader of the network or the leader of the free world.
And I just like the guy. He's a good joe. Obviously loves his wife, calls her his better half, and polls show America agrees.
White House Correspondents' Association Dinner (2006)
It’s not a great look when you fly on the pedophile’s plane enough times to earn diamond pervert status.
And the older you get, the more you'll understand that — because it gets better. And people get nicer too.
What you wish to be true is all that matters, regardless of the facts.
It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
I teach Sunday School, motherfucker.
Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don’t need to care about science, literature or peace.
The market is not finished. The market still has over nine thousand points to drop. We'll get to Christmas at least.
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