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It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

— Stephen Colbert

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More quotes by Stephen Colbert

I think of him as well intentioned, poorly informed, high status idiot.

If you don't give power to the words that people throw at you to hurt you, they don't hurt you anymore — and you actually have power over those people.

I have tender feelings for Nixon, because everybody has warm feelings about their childhood.

Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it.

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Stephen Colbert (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.