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Quotes from Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook — Scott Adams

1957–2026 United States

← All quotes by Scott Adams

6 quotes

Hopelessness isn't the same as happiness, but it's enough to make the employees stop complaining, and that's a good start.

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook (1996)

Rumors are an excellent way to keep your employees nervous and edgy, which is similar to being alert.

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook (1996)

Blind obedience is easier than the alternatives and the pay's the same.

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook (1996)

This is the kind of personal sacrifice that inspires the employees.

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook (1996)

When we are born, all humans are clueless, self-absorbed, and helpless. Most babies will grow out of it. Those who don't become managers.

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook (1996)

When you have an exceptionally nasty project, present it to your employee as a "challenge." That seemingly minor change in syntax will cause the employee to feel like an Olympic athlete instead of the boot-stomped carpet mite that he is.

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook (1996)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Scott Adams (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.