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Quotes from Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel — Scott Adams

1957–2026 United States

← All quotes by Scott Adams

6 quotes

There's a special word for bosses who care about their employees: unemployed.

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel (2002)

The fastest way to spot a weasel is to look at a shiny surface. The second-fastest way is to look for people who are certain about the future.

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel (2002)

The only person who wants real fairness is whoever has the worst life on earth, because he has nothing of his own to share in return.

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel (2002)

People who have children have the best work-avoidance excuses in the world. If you don't have kids, get some immediately. The playgrounds are full of them.

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel (2002)

It's illegal to kill yourself in a quick and painless way, but if you do it slowly over a few decades -- say by not exercising -- that's called laziness, not suicide, and it's completely legal.

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel (2002)

If my job was less pleasant than jury duty, I'd want to convict innocent people just to see their eyes bulge when they hear the verdict.

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel (2002)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Scott Adams (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.