Scott Adams Quotes

1957–2026 United States

Scott Raymond Adams (June 8, 1957 – January 13, 2026) was an American cartoonist and satirist, best known for his Dilbert series of comic strips and books.

United States
Bloggers
Cartoonists
Deaths
Humorists

Also known as: Adams, Scott, Dogbert

Random Scott Adams quote

112 quotes

Blind obedience is easier than the alternatives and the pay's the same.

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook (1996)

I wake up every morning disappointed that I have to wear pants and walk. Imagination has a way of breeding disappointment.

Named after the great romaine emperor, Julius Salad.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

Master Persuaders move your energy to the topics that help them, independent of facts and reason.

Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter (2017)

This is the kind of personal sacrifice that inspires the employees.

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook (1996)

A skilled persuader who understands both social media and the news business can easily stir the pot to create an advantage through chaos.

Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter (2017)

The fastest way to spot a weasel is to look at a shiny surface. The second-fastest way is to look for people who are certain about the future.

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel (2002)

Thinking is easier than working. And the best kind of thinking is the kind where you don't have to write anything down, i.e., "meeting thinking."

The Joy of Work (1998)

Much of politics is about hating imaginary people.

Our salmon sandwiches are so good you’ll want to swim upstream to our kitchen and spawn. But please don’t.

Everyone did his job as if it were nothing more than delivering packages.

The Religion War (2004)

The only person who wants real fairness is whoever has the worst life on earth, because he has nothing of his own to share in return.

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel (2002)

Biblical scholars tell us that this is the same meal that Jesus ate at the last supper. But hey, I’m sure you have a good reason for ordering something else.

People don't change their basic nature, they just accumulate more stuff upon which they can apply their stupidity, selfishness, and horniness. From this perspective, the future isn't hard to predict.

The Dilbert Future (1997)

Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.

Political differences are mostly a matter of what frightens you the most, with a thin frosting of rationalization on top.

When you understand persuasion ... the truth is not as useful as it should be ...

The missile crews and jet pilots didn't know what they were blowing up or why.

The Religion War (2004)

If Biden is elected, there's a good chance you will be dead within the year. Republicans will be hunted. Police will stand down.

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Scott Adams (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.