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Quotes from Naked Beneath My Clothes — Rita Rudner

born 1953 United States

← All quotes by Rita Rudner

7 quotes

Nobody is really happy with what's on their head. People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight, and bald people want everyone to be blind.

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

To me, life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men — how about "New Car Interior"?

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

I had teeth that stuck out so far, I used to eat other kids' candy bars by accident.

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

I don't even know how this word came into being: "aerobics". I guess gym instructors got together and said, "If we're going to charge ten dollars an hour, we can't call it 'jumping up and down'."

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

[One of my friends] was in labor for 36 hours. (I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.)

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary; the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Rita Rudner (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.