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P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

1947–2022 United States

Patrick Jake O'Rourke (14 November 1947 – 14 February 2022) was an American political satirist, most often known as P. J.

United States
Comedians
Humorists
Journalists
Libertarians

Also known as: O'Rourke, P. J., O'Rourke, P.J., P J O'Rourke, P.J. O'Rourke, PJ O'Rourke

Random P. J. O'Rourke quote

135 quotes

She's wrong about absolutely everything, but she's wrong within normal parameters.

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.

The Liberty Manifesto (1993)

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Parliament of Whores (1991)

Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.

There’s a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Parliament of Whores (1991)

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history mankind has been bullied by scum.

Parliament of Whores (1991)

A hat should be taken off when greeting a lady, and left off the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.

Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People (1983)

Wherever there's injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it's happening.

Peace Kills: America's Fun New Imperialism (2004)

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

Parliament of Whores (1991)

Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport— two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner.

Holidays in Hell (1989)

When Adam Smith was being incomprehensible, he didn't have the luxury of brief, snappy technical terms as a shorthand for incoherence.

On The Wealth of Nations (2007)

A fundamental American question is, 'What's the big idea?'

No government proposal more complicated than "This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private" ever works.

The collegiate idealists who fill the ranks of the environmental movement seem willing to do absolutely anything to save the biosphere, except take science courses and learn something about it.

Parliament of Whores (1991)

Haitians weren't screwed-up, but everything political, intellectual, and material around them is.

All the Trouble in the World (1994)

People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs.

All the Trouble in the World (1994)

Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine.

All the Trouble in the World (1994)

To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.

Holidays in Hell (1989)

Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

Iran and Iraq have been at war for five years now. The traditional present for a fifth anniversary is wood. Here's a gift suggestion: a big stick to beat some goddamned sense into their heads.

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: P. J. O'Rourke (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.