Maddox Quotes
born 1978 United States
George Ouzounian (better known as Maddox), born March 27, 1978, is the owner of The Best Page in the Universe, a satirical website.
- United States
- Bloggers
- Satirists
Also known as: The Best Page in the Universe
Random Maddox quote
54 quotes
"The next time you ask someone how their day is going, expect, no, DEMAND a response. Don't settle for good. Demand the truth. Make them admit that they're having a shitty day, and then do your best to make it worse."
"This car just looks terrible; it looks like it was designed by a blind child with arthritis. In a coma." (on the Honda Element)
"There are only three reasons you should ever be this delighted about anything, and all of them involve you being a hot chick, meeting me, and lube."
"Okay, here's a tip: if you're doing something creepy like molesting children, you don't need to take topless photos of yourself to seal the deal. We know, the pedosmile is enough."
"Is someone you know anorexic? A good joke would be to tell them that they're fat. They'll laugh because anorexic people aren't fat. HAHAH"
"Let's face it: there are few things in this world more stupid than dancing. Except break dancing, which pirates and lumber jacks would agree is awesome. Other than that, dancing makes me envy cripples."
"Thank you Joe Nobody for giving me your expert opinion on what missile sounds like, because gas station superintendents are usually the best people to ask about the sonic signature of ballistic missile thrust."
"I was going to write about how I was going to take away women's right to vote, but that one is pretty obvious since nobody wants women to vote, except for women, and they don't count."
"For example, the cover on the right depicts Lobo (also known as "the main man") kicking Santa's ass. Santa did something to piss Lobo off (or nothing, it makes no difference), and Lobo RUINED HIS SHIT."
"Most of the screen on a blog is blank for an imaginary populace of readers still using 640x480 resolution. I didn't buy a 19" monitor to have 50% of its screen realestate pissed away on firing white pixels, you assholes."
"If you got caught screwing around on the job, you'd probably get fired, and so would I. Why should he get away with it?" (on Bill Clinton)
(introduction) "this page is about my opinions. if you disagree, you have a right to your opinion and i can respect that."
"Notice the telltale sign of a man who has a penchant for boy ass: the pedophile-smile or 'pedosmile.' It's part smirk, part grin, and all molester. It's like he's having a two-for-one sale on rape, no refunds or exchanges."
"This sounds like the soundtrack of a coma." (On U2's song One Step Closer)