Maddox Quotes
born 1978 United States
George Ouzounian (better known as Maddox), born March 27, 1978, is the owner of The Best Page in the Universe, a satirical website.
- United States
- Bloggers
- Satirists
Also known as: The Best Page in the Universe
Random Maddox quote
54 quotes
"I've got pissing people off down to a science."
"The earth's population is about 6 billion. At 15 minutes per person, that amounts to over 171,000 years we'd have to spend just sitting around watching people be "famous." To hell with that."
"Watching this video is like being bukkaked with stupid."
"I've pissed higher than the tallest building in Utah."
"Fernando is wanted for 'murder with a deadly weapon' according to the FBI website. As opposed to being wanted for murder with a non-deadly weapon?"
"Science can learn a lot from someone this stupid."
"My Nuts are just under critical mass, a few inches away from collapsing into a super dense vortex of nutsaqutron (a type of radiation given off by enormous balls)."
"It simultaneously warms my heart and wears my delete key when I get emails from twelve-year-olds."
I've only had one dream in my life with kids in it that didn't involve me gnawing my feet off, and it had to do with kids doing my laundry."
"General Grievous," a bad guy so sinister, his very name stands for PAIN AND SUFFERING. Nice job assholes... Why not just call all your characters "Evil" and "Bad" next time?"
"Why are politicians so full of shit? Why can't there be a congressman (congressman, yes man, tough shit to all you feminists) that just speaks his mind without the meaningless bullshit and ass kissing?"
"Having spelling errors is one thing, but c'mon. I've typed out more coherent sentences with my penis."
"If trashy television was a video game, The Jenny Jones show would be the final boss."
"No, I'm not a democrat or a republican. I'm just a guy who's tired of the bullshit."
"...you could sell these people hookers in a vagina storm."
"Kenley is alleged to have sexually assaulted her eleven-year-old stepson, then ditched out on bond. The FBI says Kenley has ties to Arkansas. Talk about trying to find a needle in a hay stack."
"There aren't many things I don't want to experience in life, but the sensual caress of a parent going through mid-life crisis is one of them."
"...'SummerGrl19?' Very clever handle by the way, the only way you could make it any more unoriginal or cliche would be to add the words 'happy, cute' or 'princess' to the name."
"What the hell is "partly cloudy" supposed to mean? When is it not partly cloudy? … Just tune into a weather forecast. Chances are you'll hear the phrase at least 3 or more times."
"When I say this game is hard, I mean hard like nipples-on-a-blind-lesbian-in-a-fish-market hard."