Maddox Quotes
born 1978 United States
George Ouzounian (better known as Maddox), born March 27, 1978, is the owner of The Best Page in the Universe, a satirical website.
- United States
- Bloggers
- Satirists
Also known as: The Best Page in the Universe
Random Maddox quote
54 quotes
"It's every man's dream to have a penis so large that he must hire a small boy to carry it."
"If there were a building that stood for grammatical integrity, this email would be the plane that crashed into it."
"There are very few people who look good in red lipstick, and those people usually juggle for a living."
"President Bush withdrew from the Anti-Ballistic Missile treaty. Good I say, global stability was getting to be a pain in the ass."
"New rule: if your state has more cows than people, you don't get to be a state anymore."
"If women ran the world, we'd still be searching for the wheel."
"There are pigs that can manipulate joysticks, yet you morons can't even send me an intelligible email."
"I'm impressed that they've been able to take a 2D character with a 1D personality and bloat it into a 3D disaster."
"The next person's phone I hear set to Vivaldi is going to need a hydraulic pump to pry their phone out of their ass."
"Passing out while you try to kill yourself is like failing at failing."
"Look out pop-culture! Bono has had enough of 'romantic love'."
"There's no shame in masturbation, unless you get caught."
"I hate the help screen, I hate the options, I hate the card graphics, I hate the default window size, everything. I HATE SOLITAIRE."
"If people who look different don't necessarily think differently, which they don't, then aren't they essentially discriminating against them by "embracing" them as being "diverse"?"
"I can't go on, I'm going to go do something less painful like stick my dick in the oven."
"Whales are drinking all our water and eating our sailors."
"The only thing that goes with Crocs is social Ostracism."
"It was like Rambo sent them all Christmas cards, but instead of cards it was murder."
"… the real reason ADD exists is because executives at pharmaceutical companies need to make their Lexus payments."
"It's not that I rule, it's that everyone else sucks more than I do. We all suck, and whoever sucks the least is king."