Linda Smith Quotes
1958–2006 England
Linda Smith (25 January 1958 – 27 February 2006) was a British stand-up comic and comedy writer.
- England
- Authors
- Comedians
- Non-fiction authors
- Socialists
Random Linda Smith quote
11 quotes
You should always book tradesmen by personal recommendation.
If God wanted us to believe in him, he'd exist.
People knock ASBOs but you have to bear in mind they are the only qualification some of these kids are going to get.
People say 'Ooh, doesn't Lionel Blair look good for his age?' Well, no, not really – not unless he's about five hundred. Otherwise he looks like nothing more than an elaborately coiffured scrotum.
Packet of Three Channel 4 (1991)
Rugby is a game for men with no fear of brain injury.
Maltesers have the less-fattening centre. Well, yes, but they are covered in chocolate! That's like saying 'I'll have a mineral water, please. Can you put some cubes of lard in it?'
Packet of Three Channel 4 (1991)
[On her home town in Kent:] Erith isn't twinned with anywhere but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham.
My favourite ever headline was "Worksop Man Dies Of Natural Causes."
Piers Morgan who used to be editor of The Mirror. He's got a whole new career now, as the bloke who used to be editor of The Mirror.
London water – it’s hard but fair.
This is Prince Charles & Camilla. Or, as I like to think of them, Rod Hull & Emu.