30 quotes
Christians... get Christmas under control. Seriously. It won't stop! It doesn't stop, does it? It's always Christmas now! Make it the whole year! It's the only time you pricks are happy!
Last Laugh ‘06 (2006)
Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.
Last Laugh ‘05 (2005)
If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween...don't. I will find you. I will hurt you.
The Carnegie Hall Performance (2006)
So that's how you wanna play it, old man? No dessert? Oh sure, we'll eat our dinner, right after you eat THIS!
Inside Out (2015)
Everyone of you has a health that is unique and totally different from everybody else. Completely! Because we... are all like snowflakes.
Black on Broadway (2004)
This book is dedicated to all of my friends who helped me get to where I am today - you know who you are.... and when I find you I am going to kill you.
Nothing’s Sacred (2005)
I'd rather go ice fishing, which is the dumbest thing a man can do. You're sitting essentially in an out house and it's 30 below. You've cut a hole in the ice, and you're fishing for fish that you shouldn't eat, ‘cause any fish that is down there is fucking stupid.
The End of the Universe (2002)
You don't want another Enron? Here's the law: If you have a company, and it can't explain, in one sentence... what it does... it's illegal!
Luther Burbank Performing Arts Center Blues (2005)
The image was not on the screen long enough for it to hit your eye and go to the back of your brain and register "nipple". 'Cause without the nipple, you ain't got no titty. What you have is a shoulder without bone structure.
Luther Burbank Performing Arts Center Blues (2005)
Now, most of the time you couldn't be too sure of the quality of the drug. Although, in my experience the stuff was always of a very high quality, because back then we didn't have business majors peddling lower-quality stuff in an effort to increase profits.
Nothing’s Sacred (2005)