People tell me, "Lee, you should take up golf. It's good for you." You know what I say to that? "Fuck off." Big Live at the O2 (2008)
Why are all the dogs at dog shows really nice dogs? You never see a pit bull with a ribbon 'round his head, going "If you say one fucking word..." Big Live at the O2 (2008)
In those old hotels, everything creaks: Argh, argh, argh. Even the door: Argh! You can always hear the bloke above you moving around, and when it's three in the morning you turn into his wife: "That's the fourth time tonight. Go back to fucking bed!" Big Live at the O2 (2008)