Karl Pilkington Quotes
born 1972 England
Karl Pilkington (born 23 September 1972) is an English podcaster, author and former radio producer.
- England
- Actors
- Comedians
- Radio producers
Random Karl Pilkington quote
123 quotes
If anythin', like I said, he didn't do us a favour, he saved too much. You can't move out there for stuff (Referring to Noah saving every animal)
(After chatting about the Serbian sex machine invention and Karl said 'Did it have to be a woman or could they have got a gay fella in - butt plugs and that')..
Yeah, we'll do that, Lanky.
A dog has got human eyes.
The first time you watch it you'll probably cry a bit. The second time you watch it you will probably think - boy that would be bad having a head like that being picked on - the third time you are probably thinking, er, how does he get his jumper on, er, then dunno probably bored of it the fourth time. But, but it's well worth watching.
(On fun-sized chocolates) I don't know why they're called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off
You know how they say people have six senses? There's loads more than that. [The ability to feel someone looking at you], that's been around since man and dinosaur were knockin' about.
Talking about being in heaven- It's not fair though because all them lot have been up there ages with like a chance to get a bit of sun on the body and that so they'll look alright. I'll be wandering about with underpant marks and stuff.
On dopplegangers - No because only it would only get me into trouble won't it? Because people won't believe there's another one like me. Otherwise everyone would be saying that when they get caught robbing, they go Oh it wasn't me it was me doppleganger.
I don't cry. Water doesn't leave my head. I've got loads of gob. That's how water leaves me, it's not out of my eyes.
Whoop, there's an elephant in the room
We're just a weed in the universe
I'm just sayin', I don't like fun
I could eat a knob at night.
Whats good with a holiday right.. say if you work in a factory from 8 in the morning till 8 at night, packin socks into a rubber bag right.. between 8 and.. what time did i say he finishes?
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water.
On the possibility of meeting Warwick Davis- The first time I see him, I'd be a little like, what should I say, what shouldn't I say? Whereas once you get to know him I'm sure he'd be a lovely little fella.
They keep saying that sea levels are rising an all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science.
On homosexuals- They're more up for a bit more experimentation an' that -Podcast Series 1 Episode 2
So I was watchin David Attenborough.. he makes his money out of flies and that dun' he