48 quotes
Congratulations, Dave, you've just constructed a straw man so large you could burn it in the desert and hold an annoying festival around it.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
I'm not saying college is the right choice for everyone -- but it should be a choice.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
Whenever they don't want to talk about something, it's probably worth you knowing about it.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
Lest we forget, when Europe goes far right, they go far, right through Belgium.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
When your rainy day fund is so big you've got to check it for swimming cartoon ducks, you might not be a not-profit anymore.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
It is the ultimate conspiracist code -- "Nothing is a coincidence except when I do it".
Last Week Tonight (2014)
Britain is basically Pompeii if Pompeii had voted for the volcano.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
I'm curious, is it a rule that, to be in Congress, you have to be one of the weirdest motherfuckers to ever live?
Last Week Tonight (2014)
The thing about denying the press is there is, the press tends to catch you doing that, because the press is fucking there!
Last Week Tonight (2014)
Student protests against injustice generally age pretty well, and the efforts to criticize or crack down on them tend not to.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends; they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
Please, make sure your college years are the best ones of your life because, thanks to the debt that we are saddling you with, they almost certainly will be.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
"There's something out there that's better than our airplane." It is chilling to hear that from a Navy pilot and not the usual place: the Executive Boardroom at Boeing.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
Calling slave labor "chores" is a euphemism on par with calling Hitler a "best-selling author with a side hustle" or JFK's assassination a "bad hair day" or this a comedy show.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
Like many things, the way Britain operates is "kind of like the U.S., but whimsically worse."
Last Week Tonight (2014)
We have spoken to experts who have all told us that, best they can tell, this is somehow legal. Which seems crazy to me, 'cause it really feels like it shouldn't be.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
When New Jersey sends us mayors, they're clearly not sending their best.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
Wait, he "loves drama"?! I'm sorry, I'm really not that comfortable with one of the most powerful people on Earth being summed up the same way you describe Andy Cohen on New Year's Eve!
Last Week Tonight (2014)
It's like catching an ice cream cone out of the air because a child was hit by a car.
Last Week Tonight (2014)
Lots of people are 68, working, and paying taxes, and I’d venture to say most of them are not Nazi enthusiasts, other than, it seems, you and Mel Gibson.
Last Week Tonight (2014)