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Please, make sure your college years are the best ones of your life because, thanks to the debt that we are saddling you with, they almost certainly will be.

— John Oliver Last Week Tonight (2014)

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More quotes by John Oliver

Congratulations, Dave, you've just constructed a straw man so large you could burn it in the desert and hold an annoying festival around it.

Last Week Tonight (2014)

When children from other countries are telling us that we've made them fear the sky, it might be time to ask some hard questions.

I'm not saying college is the right choice for everyone -- but it should be a choice.

Last Week Tonight (2014)

You have just constructed a straw man so large you could burn it in the desert and hold an annoying festival around it.

Thanks very much for taking this magical moment and reminding me that joy is ephemeral, pain is forever.

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: John Oliver (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.