What I am good at -- and what every comedian is good at -- is knowing how to carefully manage an audience's attention span. Vulture Festival (2015)
The Internet is the most brutal medium for attention span. The distance from your finger to that "off" -- or "stop" -- is-- it's-- you're holding it right there, while you're watching the thing! Vulture Festival (2015)
I do have a bucket list. And I looked at the list, and then, I decided to turn the B [into] an F, and I was done with it. Vulture Festival (2015)