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Quotes from Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee — Jerry Seinfeld

born 1954 United States

← All quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

18 quotes

It really speaks to how bad [American] food is, that it's work.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

I don't know why people always assume that the guest is more interesting than the host.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

I like that [obituaries] boil the whole guy's life down to "Invented the ballpoint-pen spring".

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

God has no rhyme or reason to who he gives a sense of humor to.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

I don't think comedy has changed, and it never will change.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

Most things that are weird are not "weird good".

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

Jail is such a-- really a way that a grown-up would punish a child. "You go in there and you stay in there!"

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

Comedians have such an intense allergy to pretension.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

The comedy universe is a swamp of madness.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

The comedian studies himself; the actor studies other people. The comedian wants to be himself; the actor wants to be anyone but themselves.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

The timing of the check coming at the end of the meal makes no sense. 'Cause that's when the food is the least interesting to you.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

To me, America used to be a place that made steel, and cars, and had giant department stores. Now, basically, we produce amateur talent and people [who] judge amateur talent.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

We're all tryin' to get to the same island. Whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light comes on.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

Our job is not for us to enjoy it. Our job is to make sure they enjoy it, and that's what we did [on Seinfeld].

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

Poetry is bad standup. It's carefully chosen words that have no laugh at the end.*

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

The improvements in the engineering of cars has enabled people to express their inner asshole-ness. You think "Why are people [today] so ill-behaved?" They're not! They just never had the tools to express it before.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

I've figured out that the "non-event" is the best part of life.
Episode 2 (with David Letterman)

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

Comedy is more personal than food.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Jerry Seinfeld (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.