55 quotes
Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.)
The ones I like ... are "cheque" and "enclosed."
A lady ... with all the poise of the Sphinx though but little of her mystery.
All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
And there was that wholesale libel on a Yale prom. If all the girls attending it were laid end to end, Mrs Parker said, she wouldn't be at all surprised.
Our Mrs Parker (1934)
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
Resume (1926)
And she had It. It, hell; she had Those.
It takes me six months to do a story. I think it out and then write it sentence by sentence—no first draft. I can't write five words but that I change seven.
Too fucking busy, and vice versa.
[On being told of Calvin Coolidge's death] How do they know? (Coolidge was known as a man who said very few words.)
Writers at Work 1st Series by Malcolm Cowley (1958)
I thought that was going to be a good song, too, and then they went and rhymed “time” and “Rhine,” and spoiled everything. p. 24
Dorothy Parker: Complete Broadway, 1918–1923 (2014)
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.
What fresh hell can this be?
There is one thing that appreciably eases the strain for the plays that arrive at this time of year, and that is that practically nothing is expected of them. p. 306
Dorothy Parker: Complete Broadway, 1918–1923 (2014)
Sinbad is produced in accordance with the fine old Shubert precept that nothing succeeds like undress. p. 6
Dorothy Parker: Complete Broadway, 1918–1923 (2014)
If you arrive late, you won't know what anything is about, and if you are there all the way from the beginning, you won't care. p. 277
Dorothy Parker: Complete Broadway, 1918–1923 (2014)
Writing a book for the Follies seems to be about as profitable an occupation as furnishing flannel petticoats for the showgirls. p. 151
Dorothy Parker: Complete Broadway, 1918–1923 (2014)
Anyone can do that—the stunt lies in not doing it. p. 8
Dorothy Parker: Complete Broadway, 1918–1923 (2014)
Of course, there are many things to be said for the afternoon performance, chief among them being that it cuts in so generously on one's work. p. 201
Dorothy Parker: Complete Broadway, 1918–1923 (2014)
I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.