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I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

— Dorothy Parker

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More quotes by Dorothy Parker

There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.

I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.

Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.

Enough Rope (1926)

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say No in any of them.

Our Mrs Parker (1934)

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Dorothy Parker (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.