73 quotes
Violet said..."We've never known anyone who could remain so cheerful, no matter what terrible things occurred.
The Grim Grotto (2004)
Carmelita Spats, who oughtta be told "Gorgeous" does not start with an M.
The Grim Grotto (2004)
What he'd just said was "Who cares?" and nobody wants to hear that.
Adverbs (2006)
Shyness is a very curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people are any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.
The Austere Academy (2000)
The last safe place is safe no more.
The Penultimate Peril (2005)
Why do so many things end in fire?
Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (2002)
Why, you're all grown up! The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!
The Grim Grotto (2004)
Wedding after wedding after wedding and then yours - your wedding? Would that make you what they're now calling happy?
Adverbs (2006)
Over the years they had developed a layer of sincerity over the irony over the sincerity. It was an irony sandwich, then, which tasted mostly like sincerity, like a cheap, bad sandwich.
Adverbs (2006)
People aren't either wicked or noble," the hook-handed man said. They're like chef's salad, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.
The Grim Grotto (2004)
For Beatrice — I cherished, you perished, The world's been nightmarished
The End (2006)
"Oh my god!" Hillary is standing in the doorway of the bathroom of the bathroom which on one had is surprising but there's the other hand, too.
Adverbs (2006)
They could not love anymore, they thought, just drink and pour coffee and track people down in the rain. They were living frigidly, as if in a cone of frost.
Adverbs (2006)
There is evil out there you cannot even imagine. -Captain Widdershins
The Grim Grotto (2004)
I find you interesting, Joe, so nearly everything you say will be interesting too. I love you. I could say I'm lonely but that's not the only reason.
Adverbs (2006)
Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.
The Slippery Slope (2003)
They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.
Adverbs (2006)
Allison squinted at the strange, catastrophic sky, and took another step, another step, another step, because in the future - she could see it - this would not be happening.
Adverbs (2006)
South San Francisco The Industrial City is ugly as sin but somebody lives there: Allison, in fact.
Adverbs (2006)
For Beatrice--Summers without you are as cold as winter. Winters without you are even colder.-Lemony Snicket
The Hostile Hospital (2001)