46 quotes
Get well soon, Castro. [pause] Actually, no, don't; die, you bastard!
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
[When beginning the cold open with another person] Please state your name for the camera.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
[referring to a suggestive comment aimed at the audience] You too, ladies.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
I haven't had a drink in thirteen years, but occasionally I'm tempted to have one beer. The problem is that if I have that one beer, I wake up in Tijuana four days later with a tattoo and a sore ass.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
Don't do that... By the way, this is not Oprah furniture; you jump on this, and it will be firewood... Oprah's got the real thing, this stuff...this is about as real as that [points to cityscape backdrop] right there.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
[to Rupert Grint] Look at the great city of LA stretched out in front of you, son: there's dangerous people living in that cardboard backdrop.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)