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I haven't had a drink in thirteen years, but occasionally I'm tempted to have one beer. The problem is that if I have that one beer, I wake up in Tijuana four days later with a tattoo and a sore ass.

— Craig Ferguson The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)

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More quotes by Craig Ferguson

Change is the law of God's mind and resistance to it is the source of all pain.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)

Nothing says romance like hobos, martyrs and decapitations.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)

In 1963 the BBC premiered a show about an alien
Who traveled through space and time to combat the powers of evil.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)

I dont know how to add things to my own wikipedia page.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)

It's all about the triumph of intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism!

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Craig Ferguson (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.