46 quotes
And if there is any hope for any of us in this giant explosion in which we inhabit then surely that’s it:
Intellect and romance triumph over brute force and cynicism!
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
By the way, _____ was the name of a movie I accidentally watched in a hotel room twenty or thirty times.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
By the way, _____ was a name I used to dance under.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
"Whaa, I'm Brad Pitt. I'll crush you." [audience laughs] "With my hand!"
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
I'm TV's Craig Ferguson, please sit down relax and: "take off your pants"; "dip your hand into a bowl of warm water and fall fast asleep"; etc.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
[to camera] Excuse me for just a second. [walks off-camera, to studio audience] Shut up!
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
Welcome back to the big show where (at this point, he references something from earlier in the show)
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
Kids: If a bear is wearing a ranger hat, it's because he ate the ranger!
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
Welcome back, my naughty monkeys. [whipcrack]
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
I can't live by your rules, man!
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
I don't like my politicians entertaining me and I don't like my entertainers politicianing [sic] me.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
He's German so he's Herr Ball. Herr Ball. His movies are so bad, cats choke when they hear his name.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
Welcome back, my naughty penguins.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
Welcome back, my naughty donkeys.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
Welcome back, my filthy pigeons.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
[bends over] *errgh* Sorry for making that noise, but … that's what happens when you get older. One day what happens is that you bend over, and you never come back.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
[The Secretariat horse character reveals his true identity, and it happens to be Bob Newhart.]
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
I view my own body as a Donalds hiccups I am the main attraction... And the only customer.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)
You know who doesn't like _____? Al-Qaeda!
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005)