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Quotes from Part Troll — Bill Bailey

born 1965 England

← All quotes by Bill Bailey

9 quotes

I'm sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.

Part Troll (2004)

There's more evil in the charts than in an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.

Part Troll (2004)

Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

Part Troll (2004)

I can't ever remember ever seeing any charity porn, though. "Farmyard Frolics 3: A portion of this goes to a women's literacy programme in Eritrea".

Part Troll (2004)

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. I actively seek it out.

Part Troll (2004)

"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers? [Audience wildly applauds]

Part Troll (2004)

You're absolutely right, Hitler was a vegetarian. It's very unseemly to think so, but there he was. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.

Part Troll (2004)

My first job was selling doors, door to door. That's a tough job isn't it? Bing Bong; Hello, can I interest you in a- oh shit you've got one already haven't you? Well never mind...

Part Troll (2004)

Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently... [Wild laughter and applause from audience]

Part Troll (2004)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Bill Bailey (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.