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Bill Bailey Quotes

born 1965 England

Bill Bailey (born Mark Bailey 13 January 1965) is a British musician and comedian.

England
Actors
Comedians
Composers
Guitarists

Random Bill Bailey quote

40 quotes

I'm sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.

Part Troll (2004)

It's always been my long-held belief that eventually insects will take over the world.

Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra (2008)

James Blunt - a man who recently got voted more annoying than paper cuts.

Dandelion Mind (2010)

There's more evil in the charts than in an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.

Part Troll (2004)

Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.

Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra (2008)

Clancy got a very simple view of the world. Good versus evil. Evil seems to get the upper hand. Good triumphs with vastly superior automatic weapons!

Juxtaposition, you can't handle the juxtaposition!

Tinselworm (2008)

Clancy's got a very simple view of the world. Good versus evil. Evil seems to get the upper hand. Good triumphs with vastly superior automatic weapons!

But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"

Cosmic Jam (1995)

It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.

Bewilderness: New York (2002)

I am a confectionary-based existentialist.

Is It Bill Bailey? (1998)

Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.

Dandelion Mind (2010)

It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life..."

Tinselworm (2008)

I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'

Tinselworm (2008)

Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.

Dandelion Mind (2010)

Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

Part Troll (2004)

I can't ever remember ever seeing any charity porn, though. "Farmyard Frolics 3: A portion of this goes to a women's literacy programme in Eritrea".

Part Troll (2004)

I'm quite lucky, because I've got a small, decorative concrete pig.

Cosmic Jam (1995)

The actual quote attributed to Russell is, "Everything is vague to a degree you do not realise till you have tried to make it precise."

The Museum of Curiosity (2008)

Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.

Is It Bill Bailey? (1998)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Bill Bailey (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.