40 quotes
I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. I actively seek it out.
Part Troll (2004)
Creationists mainly are Americans who think the world was created in 1982 to coincide with the rise of Supertramp, but you can very easily dispute this by playing some of Supertramp's earlier albums.
Dandelion Mind (2010)
"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers? [Audience wildly applauds]
Part Troll (2004)
Hey, ASDA, I ain't gonna be your bitch!
Tinselworm (2008)
And just as he said that a feminist jumped out of a manhole - just jumped up and oh, and she didn't like that. That she didn't like that.
Cosmic Jam (1995)
Or I get my navel fluff out and weave it into wigs so that fleas can act out Victorian melodramas. [On relaxation]
Dandelion Mind (2010)
What I'd like to do now - well, what I'd like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.
Cosmic Jam (1995)
I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
Tinselworm (2008)
I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra (2008)
Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard
Tinselworm (2008)
It's what we've always known for many years outside of Australia...You can't have a world leader called Kevin. [On Kevin Rudd]
Dandelion Mind (2010)
You're absolutely right, Hitler was a vegetarian. It's very unseemly to think so, but there he was. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
Part Troll (2004)
Not a very well-known fact, but on planes they always carry a trombone just in case there's a disaster and they need to keep morale up. All cabin crew - fully proficient in the trombone. And of course there's a double facility: if you ditch at sea, it can be used as a snorkel.
Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra (2008)
Thank God for Darwin, eh?
Dandelion Mind (2010)
"So go into your local branch of UBS, and say "I'd like to open an account please.", and when they say "What with?" take out a loud hailer and say "NAZI GOLD! Just like you did!"
Tinselworm (2008)
My first job was selling doors, door to door. That's a tough job isn't it? Bing Bong; Hello, can I interest you in a- oh shit you've got one already haven't you? Well never mind...
Part Troll (2004)
This is a song inspired by the work of Phil Collins; the nasty, whining little git.
Ch. 36, 1:18:46
Bewilderness (2001)
Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it.
Beards' (track 12) 5:29
Bewilderness: New York (2002)
(Quoting his three year old son on a James Blunt song) "Daddy, turn it off, it's spoiling my brain"
Tinselworm (2008)
Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently... [Wild laughter and applause from audience]
Part Troll (2004)