361 quotes
REFORM, v. A thing that mostly satisfies reformers opposed to reformation.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Uxoriousness, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.
CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager.
The Cynic's Dictionary (1906)
DESTINY, n. A tyrant's authority for crime and fool's excuse for failure.
The Cynic's Dictionary (1906)
MEEKNESS, n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
FOREFINGER, n. The finger commonly used in pointing out two malefactors.
Cynic's Word Book (1906)
BEHAVIOR, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding.
The Cynic's Dictionary (1906)
REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Medicine, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Cannibal, n. A gastronome of the old school who preserves the simple tastes and adheres to the natural diet of the pre-pork period.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
LAZINESS, n. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
The Cynic's Dictionary (1906)
APPEAL, v.t. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
The Cynic's Dictionary (1906)
Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
COWARD, n. One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
The Cynic's Dictionary (1906)
BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
The Cynic's Dictionary (1906)
INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.
The Cynic's Dictionary (1906)
DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.
The Cynic's Dictionary (1906)
INJURY, n. An offense next in degree of enormity to a slight.
The Cynic's Dictionary (1906)
REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)