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I take the shopping in, ladies and gentlemen... in one fucking go. [mimics weighing himself down with shopping] "Get the door! Get the door!" She's like, "Shoes off!"… "FUCK OFF!"

— Michael McIntyre

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More quotes by Michael McIntyre

Scottish Guy heckled... "You're a bastard, Michael." … Oh I might not be, but I know that's the first word of a newborn Scottish baby!

[imitating a scottish person] (on Scottish money) I think you'll find pal, that's legal tender.

Live at the Apollo (2007)

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Michael McIntyre (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.